My Wonderful Mother

Tomorrow will be one year since my dear mother died. I’ll always miss her, but I also take solace in that I chose the best mother ever!
I firmly now believe her death was the best thing that could ever to me. I feel free-r. Not like she was ever overprotective or mettled in my life, she just wanted me to be able to walk, be happy, healthy and safe.
And I still am one year later.
She would have loved this past week with the Golden Globes, the disastrous American Idol auditions and walking up and down icy Main Street in Park City during Sundance. Last time I saw her I told her her secret boyfriend Robert Redford was going to host an artist panel. Clear as day she exclaimed ‘holy shit!’ But my failed bribe was too late – she died the next day.
She loved weird work stories, and hearing my Burning Man adventures. Despite my constant pleas, she always refused to go because of the heat. I plan to take some ashes there this year just to tease her….!
I’ve already taken ashes to DC, Berkeley and to her beloved Nut Tree. Always said she had me just so she could travel (dad hates to go anywhere – kills me!) Probably irks her she’s stationary above the TV cabinet – next to her dogs and brother.
I know she enjoyed watching me and dad fight over how to bake a giant gingerbread cookie. I keep saying ‘if you wanted us to get along, you could have just told us ma.’
I firmly believe she follows *me around a lot too, hoping something funny happens. Boring watching dad work around the house all day.
I treasure my memories with her – and hope she’s making new ones in heaven.

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