Treading Delicately Through (and Modern) Valentine’s Day

How do you say “I love you” on Valentine’s Day? Very carefully.  
It usually starts weeks before with several visits to various grocery stores and card shops. I encountered this plan when I started sifting through greetings ranging from hilarious and comical to bold and sexy. Apparently there is no in-between these days.

Next, came the [...]

Spending Time with the One you Love on Valentine’s Day

If you haven’t heard or seen by all the decorations, Valentine’s Day is this week. Over the past week or so, I’ve been thinking on how I should approach this delicate holiday.  
I’ve always thought this holiday was made just for women by women. I think many men would also agree with me on this one, [...]

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas….

‘Twas the night before Christmas

and shoppers are getting last minute ‘desperate’ gifts
from those waiting for mail deliveries to anxiety ridden parents causing near marital rifts.

Malls nationwide continue to see slumping sales,
holiday Budweiser ads still feature the Clydesdales  

Forgotten seems to be the true spirit of the season,
so why aren’t there any moral Christmas [...]

(A Modern) 12 Days of Christmas

I wanted to spread some holiday cheer with you, so I created a modernized version of the above classic Christmas song.
 
And yes, you can actually sing along syllable by syllable.
 
On the first day of Chr—you know what? Let’s just skip to the end shall we? We’re not getting any younger!
 
On the 12th [...]

Sealed with a Holiday Kiss of Death

Sexy red dress? Check. Stilettos? Check. Underarm wax? Check.
I’m ready!
Now all I need is to violently squeeze my boobs into a nearly impossible pushup bra and I’m ready for our annual office Christmas party! I’ve haven’t seen anyone work this hard since President Bush tried to convince the American people he was happy [...]

All I Want for Christmas is Prozac

“Can I help you?”
“Oh no. I’m just looking, thanks.”  
“Can I help you?” 
“No. That’s ok.” “Can I help you?” 
“No. I’m fine.” 
Seriously I haven’t even made it to the third store aisle. I just came to a popular electronics store to look for one thing.  
I didn’t know navigating through over abundant and exuberant workers this holiday season [...]

No Supervision Here! Caution - Scary Adults at Play!

 
“Which one do you think makes me look oobra-slutty? The French maid costume, Playboy bunny or Catwoman?”
 
Besides the obvious that you’ll probably never hear this question in real life – it does bring up an interesting point. When did Halloween become so sophisticated or involved for adults?
 
Most of us grew up wearing innocent looking costumes [...]

Creating the Perfect Man

4 ounces honesty
4 ounces physical attraction
¾ cup hearty soul*
½ cup good listener
1 large sense of humor
3 ¼ cup respect
2 teaspoons trust
1 teaspoon enthusiasm for life
¼ teaspoon adventuresome
¼ teaspoon thoughtfulness
¼ teaspoon positive attitude
¼ teaspoon shyness 
*cannot be bought in grocery stores or on E-bay   
Preheat oven to 350F. Line two cookie [...]