Psst! Have You Tried the Kellene Diet?

The South Beach Diet. The Liquid Diet. The No Food Diet. The Kellene Diet?!

Yes, you probably have not heard about it since I just thought about it, but I want to help those wanting to lose a few extra pounds before summer.

While growing up I was often asked how I kept thin. Now, years later it’s starting to finally catch up with me, but I can stop the fat (or aging) progress by – duh – exercising!

Mental note: Start doing sit-ups.

Luckily, I already distaste many foods people ‘can’t live without.’

So to achieve the Kellene Diet you must not eat certain dishes.

For instance, I inherently already hate butter. Yes! I hate the leftover greasy feeling it leaves on my fingers.

I also hate salad dressing! No joke! I like my lettuce and veggies with just pepper.

The look of anything creamy disgusts me. Ugh!

A few years back I read that women get most of their daily calories from Ranch dressing during lunch breaks. Just the smell of the stuff turns my stomach.

And to this day I still get the ‘you hate cheese?’ line. Growing up my father always ate Kraft singles which turned my nose off. I still refuse to eat any of it to this day.

But…

But, I eat Mac and Cheese, pizza and mozzarella sticks. Yeah, go figure that one out. Think it’s because its mozzarella and I can at least stand the cooked version of it.

To avoid all arguments, I just claim I’m allergic. Works every time.    

I also never really liked red meat. So I don’t eat steak. Too tough. Whaaa, but true. I only really eat chicken and burgers and on occasion pork.

And lamb is totally out of the question. The image of something so cute and fluffy running around kills me. Can’t get past it.

Fish, well, see Ranch. Brings back memories when my parents would take me down to the Wharf in San Francisco. I felt like I had bathed in fish stench.

On the flip side, I love Coke. Lots of Coke. Like too much of it. Acquired the habit from my grandmother. Now I’m trying to break it 30 years later – I want to get rid of my small tummy.

Mental note: Start doing sit-ups.

It’s a daily struggle, but I’m slowly getting there by compensating with water mixed with Crystal Light. I realized I drink what is in front of me so if I put something healthy there – that’s half the battle. Took me years to figure that one out.

I must also confess I have horrible sweet TEETH and j’adore chocolat, but sadly I can’t indulge in its heavenly goodness anymore.

It gives me horrible migraines, and there are times when I still tempt fate and win, and there are times when I pay the price. Chocolate is the devil.

It’s nice walking by candy aisles and not taking part in it. I sorely miss the guilty pleasure, but it’s another item I can take off my ‘bad food’ list.  

I also learned will power must prevail at EVERY meal. Make a conscious decision to drink water and ‘naked’ salad. As a bonus, it’s also more economical to drink water.  

Welcome to Bizarro World

The headline reads ‘Levee Breaks in Fernley; Nearly 4,000 Evacuated.‘

Because I wrote it that way.

I usually don’t talk about my line of work (since I don’t want to get fired – duh!), but this time I can’t avoid it for this column. I dealt with it all day Saturday.

While I was inside a somewhat warm building in Reno, to the east of me thousands of people dealt with freezing rising waters. Some places were eight feet deep.

It was reported on CNN and attributed to KTVN where I work. Great, but the location information they ran was wrong. Sweet. I’m assuming they got the info from the website which is where I come in.

I documented the moment on my digital camera so once I figure out how to upload pictures, I will post it. Yeah!

Anyway, soon enough within minutes it was fixed to say ‘east of Reno’ then ultimately Fernley.

For those of you who don’t know about Fernley (or Ferntucky as some people call it out here) it’s a fast growing community. When I told my parents what happened, they replied, ‘they have a levee?’ Which is what I also thought. Who knew?

Amazon.com has a warehouse out there (yet for some reason it takes nearly a week for my deliveries to come to me when I order them). More than 20,000 people live out there and housing is a booming business.

Now, I’m not sure what will happen.

You can find more information about the city by going to http://www.cityoffernley.org/

To make it worse the next morning all that water, about 400 acres of it was all frozen. It was bizarre to see video of cars and houses knowing an eerie like quietness was blowing through neighborhood after neighborhood. As I write this, officials were still waiting for it to thaw to even attempt to get into houses.

It’s like post-Katrina but frozen.

As for Reno, we received several inches of snow. And I was in the middle. Outside my window, billions of fast diving snowflakes covered buildings, cars, people…whatever was out there.

Twice I asked my boyfriend, “Why would someone want to live in this?”

“Because it’s pretty.” Ok, he had a point, but my Lord.

He ended up driving me home which I was thankful for since I’m a major weenie in the snow. I-80 between California and Nevada started the day open, then it closed, then reopened, then reclosed,…you get the point, throughout the entire day.

Oddly, the snow was actually why the station was basically fully staffed for a Saturday; the levee break was an early morning surprise.

Then hours later ice caused a 17-car pileup between Reno and Fernley. A woman actually went into labor I’m assuming because of the possible trauma it caused her.

Lord.

It was a full day for us all.

The snowfall didn’t stop until well into the night. It was just bizarre to watch it happen.  

Levee Break Aerial Courtesy of City of Fernley